WAYS TO KNOW WHEN A GUY IS NOT INTO YOU

There is nothing more exasperating in the world of dating than a guy who seems really interested, but then also maybe not…but then yes…but no again.

When a guy really likes you, it’s usually pretty obvious. So too when a guy doesn’t like you. The uncertainty usually runs uncontrolled if a guy seems to fall somewhere in between.
He disappears for days at a time and then texts you the sweetest message you’ve ever received. He says he really cares about you, but doesn’t really act like it. And while you’re on this lovy dovy ride, all you want to know is does this guy like me or not! You see, a guy can be somewhat interested, but not into it. Instead of seeing it for what it is, women make up excuses and justifications to rationalize the bad behavior away. They say he’s sending mixed messages or playing games or is afraid of getting hurt....


Ladies,one thing you need to know is that, there are no mixed messages. Either he’s into you or he’s not.
Here are five tell-tale signs that he’s not:

1. He doesn’t ask you about yourself or your life

If a guy shows no interest or excitement over finding out who you are, it’s not a good sign.
When we like someone, we can’t get enough. We want to know every story, every detail. When I was single, my litmus test in determining how much I liked a guy was how much I want to know about him (it was a good test because with my husband, I couldn’t get enough and even after our 7-hour long first date there was so much more I was dying to know!). If after a date I felt satisfied and literally didn’t have any questions I felt were left unanswered, I would move on to the next. So basically the takeaway is if a guy shows no interest in your life, your hobbies, what you enjoy, etc., he’s really just not all that interested in you...

2. He doesn’t reveal things about himself.

On the other side of the coin, if a guy doesn’t tell you anything about himself, it  also means he’s not really feeling it. When we share information about ourselves with someone, we are investing in them. We are inviting them into our world because we see the potential for them to become a part of it. When a guy sees no such potential, he’ll offer up the bare minimum. You’ll get the basics: where he’s from, where he went to school, how he got into such and such line of work….all the things you can just as easily find out on Facebook and twitter
If a guy is into you, he will open up and will peel back that outer layer. He might not necessarily bring out all the skeletons in his closet to play, but he will share information that is more real. There is a big different between knowing about someone and knowing someone.

3. Waits too long to set up the next date

If you go out with a guy and he makes no indication of ever wanting to see you again, or he waits a few days to call (it’s one thing to do this after the first date, quite another to keep doing it after the second, third, or fourth), it means he’s on the fence about you and isn’t really feeling it. Why does he continue asking you out? Probably because he has nothing else on the horizon and… why not? If a guy is into you, he’ll make it known that he wants another date. He might mention other date ideas he has for the two of you (he’ll find a way to slide it in there, like you say you love Indian food and him being like “I know a great Indian restaurant I’ll take you to next time”), or he’ll flat out tell you he wants to see you again. And in between dates he’ll stay in touch, he’ll keep you in the loop, he’ll reach out just to say hi or send you something silly because when you like someone, you think about them a lot, and when you think about them, you want to reach out to them.
If his calls or texts are few and far between, he isn’t interested enough to have anything beyond whatever it is you have right now.

4. He gives you excuses about why he didn’t call

He’s busy, he’s stressed at work, he has a million things going on, blah blah blah. If he’s into you, it doesn’t matter how busy he is, he’ll take 30 of the 86,400 seconds in a day to reach out to you, even if it’s just to send a quick text. A guy pulling out the excuses early on is always a bad omen.  There’s no stability or certainty in the beginning of a relationships. For all he knows you have a line of guys waiting for their shot with you. If he’s into you, he won’t risk some other guy snatching you up while he was “too busy” working on a project.
Another bad sign is if he doesn’t call when he says he will.

If a guy says he’ll call you tomorrow and then doesn’t call until two or three days later, it means you’re just not a priority to him and he’s neither here nor there with the relationship. If you wanna go out with him again, great. If you start dating someone else, whatever. If a guy is into you, he’ll call when he says he will.
Looking back on my own extensive dating history, the guys who called when they said they would were the ones who were serious and very into me. And things never lasted more than three dates with the guys who made me sweat it out. When a guy likes you, he’ll bring his A-game. Men are competitive by nature. No guy is gonna let a girl he likes get snatched up by some other dude.

5. You can’t tell if he’s interested.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, when a guy likes you, it’s obvious…as in no secret codes or hidden clues to uncover. If you have a suspicion that he’s not feeling it, it’s probably because he isn’t (I recommend you read my article on the importance of trusting your gut for more on this). What women call “mixed messages” is actually one very clear message: he doesn’t want to be with you. He may want to hang out with you, he may want to hook up with you, but that is not the same as being with you.
I know this one is the hardest to digest and you’ll probably fight it with all your might and think that your own insecurities are the reason you suspect he’s not interested….and not the fact that he might actually not be interested.
If a guy wants you, you’ll know it. He won’t make it a mystery, he won’t try to confuse you. In fact, he’ll do the opposite, he’ll make it clear as day that he’s interested so as not to risk losing you.

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WAYS TO LIVE FREELY

Living free means not worrying about any thing, its just like having a inner peace. It’s easier said than done because though, our emotions play a major part in our outlook on life plus our actions. However, freedom is a state of mind that ultimately guides our actions. 

Here are six things you must stop doing in order to be free to live the life you’ve always wanted.

1. Caring what other people think

I used to hold onto the notion that if more people liked me, I would feel better about myself. That led me to do more people pleasing than actually being happy with who I was. What I soon began to realize was that no matter what people thought of me, I was still blessed to be alive. Do what’s best for you. Everyone is different so find out what suits you. 
Always remember, what floats someone else’s ship may sink yours.

2. Staying overly loyal

We’ve all had negative relationships and situations that we’ve stayed around too long because we feel we owe something. When that happens, you end up locking yourself down to people and situations you don’t find favorable. They limit you from your growth and eat away at your confidence. Your loyalties should lie in the people and places that force you to grow and make you want to be a better person. Not in the areas that do the opposite.

3. Looking for a quick fix by chasing the fastest dollar

Some of the wealthiest people in the world are the unhappiest. Chasing money won’t make you happy. Life is a journey and it’s important that you find beauty in every part of it. Chase your passions because if not, then what are you truly living for? Living freely is about being realistic with expectations and accepting the fact that you’re human and you will make mistakes. Nothing worth having comes overnight so a life worth living will take some work.

4. Waiting for the perfect moment

There is never a perfect time to do a great thing. Don’t wait for an opportunity. Make the opportunity. I get inspiration from seeing musical artists get their first big radio hit. Everyone goes crazy because it seems like the artist just hopped in a studio, made one song, got lucky and made it big. In reality, that first big radio hit was the culmination of previous other hits that went unnoticed. Your big moment comes when you start piecing little moments together. Consistency is key so if you aren’t doing sh*t then don’t expect anything in return. Get out there and make it happen because you only have one life to live.

5. Being indecisive

Pick something and do it. Simple as that. Nothing is worse than an indecisive person because they take two steps to the left, then two steps to the right and end up back at square one. Being indecisive kills progress. Make a decision and stick with it no matter what the consequences are.

6. Comparing yourself to others

We have all done this one time or another. You are who God made you and you have the ability to change and mold yourself into whoever you want to be. However, do so with the mindset that you are doing it for you and not trying to be someone else. If you try to be someone else you will always be second best. Focus on yourself and you will always win.

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